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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24618376">Pillow Talk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/realthicbitch/pseuds/Carriex3'>Carriex3 (realthicbitch)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead To Me (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, drunk fluff, ghfjdkls, i need this to be canon okay, just let me have this, they're so gay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:08:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,430</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24618376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/realthicbitch/pseuds/Carriex3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Did you really mean it? When you asked me to be your person?" Judy fixed her with a gaze so steady, like she was looking into her soul, and Jen couldn't remember the last time she felt this vulnerable. She brushed Judy's bangs out of her eyes and let her hand linger for a moment longer than necessary. </p>
<p>"More than I've ever meant anything in my life."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Judy Hale &amp; Jen Harding, Judy Hale/Jen Harding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pillow Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The walk from the bar back to their hotel room was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>journey. </span>
  </em>
  <span>At least that’s how Jen described it when they finally made it back to their room, slightly breathless and flushed pink. Jen closed the door behind them and spun around a few times, eyes closed, dancing to music only she could hear. It had felt nice to finally let go of some of the things she was feeling, and clear the air with Judy. It had been a tense few weeks, this last excursion to the forest being particularly stressful. But it was over now. It was finished, and for at least a little while, Jen was able to let herself relax.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That was fun,” she said, opening her eyes and turning to face Judy once she realized she had spun a little too far and was facing the door again. “I think… Judy.” Jen blinked a few times and squinted, trying to make Judy’s face come into focus. “I don’t remember what we drank tonight.” And then she was giggling, a sound that sober Jen would have hated.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm…” Judy flopped onto the bed closest to the window, rolling over on her stomach to watch Jen dancing again. “It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of different stuff.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Judy come dance with me.” Jen dragged out the last word, gesturing with grabbing hands for Judy to get up and come over to her. Somewhere in the back of her mind Sober Jen was freaking out a little bit, embarrassed by Drunk Jen’s shenanigans. But Judy grinned, and Jen ignored her practical self.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Judy climbed off of the bed and danced her way across the room, tripping and falling into Jen’s arms. Jen wasn’t very sturdy, though, and they collapsed into a heap on the floor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oof, sorry,” Judy said, pushing herself up so she was sitting. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine but I don’t wanna dance anymore,” Jen said as she stood up. She made her way over to the bed and sat, pulling her legs up underneath her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You just made me come all the way over here, now I gotta go all the way over there?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Judy sighed as she resumed her original position, laying on her stomach with her chin resting on her hands, facing the headboard so she could look at Jen.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we needed this tonight,” Judy said. “I feel lighter. I think all my bad vibes are gone and now I’m just…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Drunk?” Jen offered. Judy giggled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. But no.” Judy rolled onto her back and Jen followed suit. They lay next to each other, each reaching for the other’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “I’m glad we talked.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jen could feel a warm blush creep over her cheeks. She was struggling with whether or not to tell Judy what had really happened with Steve, ultimately deciding it wasn't the best time. It was a conversation that would have to happen sober, so she tried to push it out of her mind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Me too." She turned her head toward Judy's and smiled at her warmly, earning a sunshiny grin in return, and—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Judy was staring at Jen's lips, her own smile fading, turning into a look that made Jen feel hot and kind of dizzy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Why is she looking at me like that? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jen thought, even though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer. It was how she had looked at her boyfriend in high school, and then her boyfriend in college. It was how she had looked at Ted, once, all those years ago when things were new and good. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She wants to kiss me. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And then, of course, Jen was second guessing herself. The alcohol was clouding her judgment, giving her a confidence she didn’t naturally possess. Of course Judy didn't want to kiss her. Why would she even think that? But even if she did kiss her, Jen didn't want to kiss her back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Right</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jen was pulled from her thoughts by another giggle, and a squeeze of her hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You've been quiet for like, a long time," Judy said. "Are you okay?" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'm fine," Jen said as she sat up and let go of Judy's hand. She was acutely aware of how she was now missing that contact. Judy sat up too, and as if sensing Jen's desire for contact, snuggled into Jen's side. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"My nose is so cold," Judy said, mostly to herself. "Here, feel." And with that she turned and pushed her nose into Jen's warm cheek, making her gasp in surprise at the sensation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You are so </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" Jen said, laughing, lifting her hand to cover the now cold spot on her cheek. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh why thank you, it's a gift," Judy said proudly. She linked her arm through Jen's and they both leaned back against the headboard. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jen closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the warmth and comfort that came from having Judy so close to her. This kind of intimacy was something she'd never had with other friends, but she couldn't recall ever craving it with them like she did Judy. It felt weird to sit on the couch at night, after a long day, if Judy wasn't smushed up next to her under a blanket. It would feel strange to not hold her hand or brush her hair away from her face or claim the eyelash off her cheek and blow it away with a wish. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Well fuck. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jen couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was that they'd finally bared all to each other, maybe it was both. But Jen realized suddenly how much she really did love Judy. She loved her in a way she'd never felt before. There had never been someone who knew her, all of her, and didn't try to change her in some way for their benefit. No one had ever known the dark, messy, ugly parts of her and still loved her with their whole heart. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey Jen?" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey what?" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Did you really mean it? When you asked me to be your person?" Judy fixed her with a gaze so steady, like she was looking into her soul, and Jen couldn't remember the last time she felt this vulnerable. She brushed Judy's bangs out of her eyes and let her hand linger for a moment longer than necessary. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"More than I've ever meant anything in my life."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh…” And then Judy was crying, the kind of overwhelmed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m-too-drunk-to-process-these-feelings</span>
  </em>
  <span> tears. “Jen… you’re just. The best.” Judy paused to sniffle and catch her breath. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” Judy snuggled even closer somehow, her head dropping to Jen’s chest. Jen felt her heartbeat quicken, and wondered briefly if Judy could hear it. She wrapped her arms around Judy and hugged her close, rubbing small circles on her back. And it hit her. She loved Judy. She really loved her. It hit her so intensely that she couldn’t remember how it felt to not know it. She couldn’t understand why she hadn’t been telling Judy this whole time that she was loved. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t deserve you,” Judy said quietly. It broke Jen’s heart to know that that’s what Judy was feeling. If Jen were to be honest with herself, it was her that didn’t deserve Judy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop that, okay? Look at me.” Judy lifted her head up to meet Jen’s gaze. Her cheeks were streaked with tears and her red-rimmed eyes shone in the dim lighting. “You deserve every good thing. Every single good thing. So maybe you don’t deserve me, because I’m not a good thing. But…” Jen closed her eyes, trying to search her foggy mind for the right words. “I don’t deserve </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Judy. You’re so good.” She leaned forward and kissed Judy’s cheek. “And kind.” She kissed her forehead. “And I could never find enough words to express how much I love you and how grateful I am for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now Jen was staring at Judy’s lips, and, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she wanted to kiss them. She leaned forward just slightly -they were already so close together- and she could feel Judy’s breath on her face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Judy reached out to cup her cheek, just like she had earlier in the bar. But this time they weren’t crying, and Judy’s face was moving slowly closer to Jen’s, and then Jen closed the space between them with a kiss. It was soft and sweet, an expression of love that could never have been made with words.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was for Shan &amp; Zed over on twitter, straight up requested by Shan xD I wanted to write a bit more at the end, but you know when you just write a sentence and it just *feels* like an ending? Yeah, same. Anyway J&amp;J are gay and you cannot convince me otherwise.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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